My Nationalism

There is a time when you cannot guess what is your heart actually thinking. You thought you feel something but your heart didn’t sure whether it is correct or not. One of thing is nationalism. By the way, I am an Indonesian Muslim.

Nationalism, as we already knew, has something to do with political things which also has something to do with nation’s identity. There is not much things I remembered about how I portrayed my country as a child. In short, I didn’t have this kind of feeling towards my country while I am in junior school. Even the teacher in my class explains why it is worth to love my own country. I just didn’t get it all. Even when I was child, I can think that country is country. Every country has risen up phase, and also has dying phase throughout history. Including my own country, no matter what will happen in the future, better or worse, someday this country will be dead. That’s how world worked. So why bother to put hope to something that is not eternal?

And then, time by time, I am growing. I am learning things. I am seeing things. My ideology is shaped. I have my own belief. I decided myself what I want to defend, what I want to protect. I am starting to reject every concept that is illogical with me. And I am starting debating with people. This time is the time where I am trying to put my logic in front of me first and to leave everything that doesn’t have strong logic behind it.

At that time, I reshape my thinking about Nationalism. There is a duality concept that I hold at the same time about Nationalism. First, the history of my nation and its people. How they build this nation, how they protect their own people from foreign force, how the foreign force also join together to the nation that once they subjugated, how people from all races lived together, these are matters to me. It is not about pride, although sometimes pride. It is about people who live within this territory. Those guys are my people.

Second, the citizenship I hold as a Muslim. There is one concept that is called as Ummah, the concept which transgress border of nations and races. This Ummah concept is kind of the citizenship that is hold by every Muslim that they are brothers and sisters. They are one nation. This concept, obviously, reflects deep political ideology. This concept also explains why I can travel to other Muslim countries without visa. That’s why I included it into my Nationalism categories. Therefore, now I hold two Nationalities, Indonesian and Muslim.

My Muslim Nationality is beyond question. I have passed my most turbulent thinking phase since youth for searching about some kind of truth. But my other identity is somehow troubling me, Indonesian Nationality.

Thinking for releasing my Indonesian Nationality is no doubt, one of big question in my life phase. But yet somehow, I didn’t arrive into that conclusion. I am not a big fan of everyone that has direct association with organized political body. Even at some point I have turned to be anti-political guys. But then I realized, if I want to change something in broadly scale, surely, politic is the way. So I was, I was newly born to the political-lover guy. In contrast, I am becoming anti-stupid-alike-mainstream-media guy. There is an event that I loss my trust to media, especially the stupid one in my eye. And I thought this phenomenon only happened in my country. But I am wrong. It happens across the world. Even extra-ultra-conservatively-stupid-media made me believe that these stupid medias are contesting each other to be the most stupidest group in the history. These guys are same, except their languages are different. And people buy it. Gosh.

Anyway, not all of them are alike. Just some of them.

So that is, my biggest bottleneck to boost my Indonesian Nationalism is delayed by some stupid media and their fans who religiously believe whatever they said. I have experienced two era in my life, the oppressive government and free speech government. I am seeing what they said as oppression and seeing what they said as free speech. Surely, the latter has better impact to nation. But it has a compensation, because people are starting to spread hatred in the name of free speech. Technically, it is hard to sue someone just because he speak loudly under the broad light that he offenses somebody, even without reason. Yes, that is free speech. Accustom yourself. Forget ethics and morality. People are starting to enjoy equality to applause or loath everything they want.

But there is a dilemma. My collage friends around me are some of the best people I have ever seen in my life. Their thinking, their works, their honesty, their dedication, to the people around them is incomparable. God, isn’t people my priority for loving and protecting them? Isn’t it one of my definition about Nationalism?

Today I just read magazine from Indonesia. It is just ordinary magazine. But it strikes my head so hard. God, I didn’t realize that I loved my country so much. Somebody will never knew the taste of loss until they tasted it by themselves. The forest. The sea. The animal. The ecosystem. The natural resources. The land. The people. The food. The weather. The aura. The smile. I don’t know, but I am nearly crying remembering the place I called home. God loved this country. He blessed so much this country. May be our economy is not strong compared to others. May be our people are not smart enough to maximize this country potential. But God already gave it to this very people. Just like, He waited this nation so patiently, He waited to see this nation to stop for a while and take a little look at their forgotten gift they had from a very long time, to optimize its usage for their own people and others.

I have seen young people go to the far remote area just to become a teacher, to prepare local children, their future, giving them inspiration to conquer this life. I have seen blind person opening school for disabled person so that they knew how to deal with world. I have known young doctors who dedicated their live to far away people who still have problem with their health treatment access. I have seen a bunch of students who went to isolated area just to build for them electric generator so that the people on that place have an access to electricity. I have seen preacher who went to remote and isolated area of poor people, and he taught them how to independent, sustainable, and economically success for doing business.

Those guys are jewels from my nation who swept away my assumption about every shameful people I saw. Those guys and their works are greater than anything bad people did. The Prophet is reported said that the best people among us is the most beneficial to the others. That is, and with this very reason, I think there is no reason why I should not love my country.

This is my Nationalism.